I had no idea that the rough-and-tumble periods of my life were going to be (and still are) the moments of greatest realizations and massive shifts. Life isn’t always a walk in the park, but these tough periods can turn into great ahá moments if we’re willing to see them under a specific (heart) light.

But how though? How do I take myself from a sluggish dragging-myself- to-things kind of energy, to feeling inspired and driven again? We have to meet ourselves exactly where we are: in the slug and drag. The greatest heart-shifts happen when we go there (the heart) and relax. But first we have to slow down and bring the mind into the body.

It’s summer in the Northern Hemisphere and there is a sense of eagerness, freedom, and a desire to celebrate life; however, there is an interesting kind of beauty that arises from the ruthless way pain sometimes steals our energy and drags us down underground. I’m talking about the strength that comes when we SIT WITH ourselves during our low periods. Something about the rawness of struggle and being completely out of it, gets us completely into it if we are willing to go through it.

Osho says that “Only a whole man is a holy man,” and I must add that a holy woman is, by definition, a whole woman.

TO BECOME WHOLE AGAIN WE HAVE TO RECOGNIZE THE HOLES IN OUR WHOLENESS.

These are gray holes, areas of pain, insecurity, doubt, fear, lack of self love, and uncertainty that live within. At certain moments they begin to call us for our love and attention.

They are the deep dark paths that we choose to close down and hang up a big warning NO ENTER sign. These are the parts inside ourselves that we constantly try to pretend don’t exist, so we tiptoe over them, scared that the ground beneath us might crack. However, this running away is accompanied by a growing sense of unease. We know there are holes beneath, but our minds keep driving on autopilot suggesting that “maybe this time if I run fast enough, I will forget about it and be okay.” But we don’t and we’re not. You know how urgently your deep soul is begging you to pause.

Inner knowledge is calling at our door at every moment, literally, beneath our feet, and it just needs us to close our eyes, breathe with it and feel it. It asks us to be merciful with, acknowledge, respect, and get to know— our wounded parts.

But of course the ego likes things fixed and secure, so it will make us cover up these parts and keep ourselves distracted on our phones, eating food quickly, numbing ourselves drinking alcohol, or even going on compulsive online shopping. But these substitutes only create a very thin, momentary layer of ease and then the depth of these holes keep calling us and pulling us in even stronger. Because in those holes, and more specifically in going INTO those holes, is where our wholeness resides. In those holes our spirits wait for us, patiently, until we get our act together, knowing that it is the very process of going through those tunnels of searching, and being uncomfortable at times, that will allow us to become whole once again.

Not only will navigating these holes put us back together, but it will bring us closer in touch with those around us too. We will become more empathic and start to recognize each other in a more real authentic way by seeing ourselves in others and others in ourselves.

Gabrielle Roth says: “The memory of wholeness lingers in our consciousness, and striving to reclaim this unity is, truly the mission of our lives.”

So as long as we refuse to accept those wounded parts of ourselves, and as long as we refuse to explore them, our ground will always be shaky, uneasy, and even dangerous. Our paths will continue to be a risk. We will continue to be afraid of ourselves becoming mere walking fragments of a person.

We must go in there with courage and very important— with faith. Let’s make those inner tunnels known territory by bringing in some love, light, tenderness, and trust that we are fully capable of pulling ourselves out of those holes by consciously focusing our minds on some sort of sacred energy. In doing that, we will soon realize that there is actually a springboard beneath that shoots us up with energetic force rising us back into genuine real life. When we bring out our hidden pure, untainted, souls that had been buried deep down in holes, we finally become free.

This brings me back full circle to the Jivamukti Focus of the month on “Bhakti”.

What brings you to your mat? Bhakti, also known as Devotion, doesn’t have to be necessarily towards a specific element, figure or form. We all have something that we are devoted to. No matter what our conditioning, our religion, our history or our background, we all have something that exists within each of us that deeply moves us towards our object of devotion. Maybe its someone who we love dearly, our art, a dream, a passion project, or our career. The yoga practices are meant to assist us in knowing where that devotion lies so we can allow it to expand, so we can be guided by it.

Martyna Eder writes: “Bhakti, Devotion, is a key element in every class, because if we aren’t consciously focusing our mind on something beyond ourselves or some sort of sacred energy, we might end up worshipping mundane issues like ambition, vanity, arrogance or insecurity in our practice and by that taking their form over time. Devotion means love, loyalty and enthusiasm for the sacred.: Every time we set our intention at the beginning of practice it is like typing in the destination into a navigation system. In reverse- if we don’t put in a destination, we will likely end up in a place we didn’t want to be.”

“Devotion has many faces: It can be ecstatic, like chanting the Maha Mantra for days and nights” (and I will add- or dancing ecstatically), “but it can also be more quiet and intimate. It can be small, like a little bow of the head toward the heart to remember God or Guru before we move into our first sunsalute (… ) Our devotion might even take different forms and shapes throughout our lives and at some point our worship will become so subtle that it will be almost invisible, because we already became what we worshipped.”